Thursday, February 10, 2011

a thursday with no issues

 15 miles, 1:52. a solid effort with some tough climbs.

    in a few ways, today was slightly better than the last two thursdays. note: if youre in a hurry right now and want the abridged version of this, too bad, there isnt one. here we go.
    a week ago, i got dressed to go run, and as i closed the door behind me, i realized i had locked my keys inside (4th time in as many months). yes, i know i am an idiot. yes, i am aware of the concept of the 'spare key'. that day, it didnt matter because my spare key was in my locked car. awesome. as for my phone, it was of course, locked inside the house. even more awesome! at least i had running gear on. my first thought was to run to the landlords office so they could give me their spare key, then i would be all set. i knew the office closed at 5, so i had time. i got there at 430. closed. @#*&!!! my next idea was to run to a friends house so i could use a phone to call my landlord to get them to come unlock my door for me. i thought of two people i work with who live on main st. nobody home at either place. ugh. i ran past mark and marys. not home. i ran to my friend pats house. not home. sontag and drouin. not home. goup and haley. not home. pipp and mcknight. you guessed it. not home. i ran back past goup and haleys. still not home. back to sontag and drouins. still not home. i was now 0 for 9, and deep into 'what the eff!' mode. i was only planning on doing an easy hour that day so i got lazy with my hydration and didnt eat much of a lunch. at this point, the sun was down and it had been six hours since i had eaten anything. i was hungry and cold. i was on my way back to pats house, and my plan was to just sit in his garage until he got home. finally i caught a break. his neighbor davey somehow recognized me in the dark, so i went into his house and used the phone. issue over, right? wrong. i had to leave a message on the answering service, then waited for the landlord to check the messages, then they called someone who could unlock the door, then 30 minutes later i got a call from the grumpiest dude who ever lived. first, he told me there was a $25 charge for the service, and i needed to pay him cash before he would unlock the door. i didnt have any because i was out running. then he said that i would have to write him a check before he would unlock it. that, of course, was not possible because the checkbook was in my house. the guy grumbled for a while about company policy and i got pretty uspet at him. i dont remember my exact words, but the angry rhode islander inside me came out, and eventually he agreed to open the door. then i wrote him his stupid check. i was out $25, but at least i was inside, that miserable prick was gone, and i got about 12 miles of running in. i proceeded to cook and devour two bacon cheeseburgers and couple of beers. then the problem was solved.
    if youre somehow still reading (implied nick cash) you will appreciate this next little gem as well, but that might only be because this story is not as long. i will admit that last one was a bit wordy, but lets face it, we have become blog junkies, so its cool.
    anyway, two thursdays ago, i was running an in town loop with some ksc guys. it was all good, no reason for concern. nothing was hurting, nothing felt strange internally. i hadnt even felt an urge to fart. unexpectedly, disaster struck. i farted. then i realized i wished i had farted. then i realized i wished i had sharted. but it was even worse than that. i had full-on deuced in my pants. noooo! this was trouble. as i waddle-ran home, my ass cheeks started rigging from the excessive clenching. i went inside and took the longest shower ever. all i can say is that if i had any dignity, this experience would have been humiliating. church.


  1. Boj, if you ever have the first situation again, stop by Brewbakers. We have a phone. The second situation? Try Prime Roast.

  2. ok so i think what youre saying is that brewbakers doesnt have a bathroom, and prime roast has a shower but no phone ?

  3. i thought about it again and i think youre also saying you want me to take a dump on the competition.

  4. bojo you made tommy proud! also looks like team gayrage started a blog....

  5. Thanks for the sharted you tube link. Good stuff.

  6. no prob. im here to make people laugh. either with me, or at me.