its started already. i love christmas, but there is one aspect of the holiday that we could totally throw out the window and i wouldnt be the least bit sad. im talking about the extreme overplaying of christmas music. we're not even in the same month as said holiday and im already at my limit. i was driving for no more than a half an hour today and i heard five of these friggin vomit inducing eardrum puncturing horror shows. this problem is not limited to otherwise unknown artists (ex. the chick who sang rockin around the christmas tree. come on, theres nothing rockin about that song. and maybe she was famous in 1950, but i dont know who the hell she is). some of the most famous and successful artists have fallen victim to the horror. bruce springteen reminded us who was comin to town (not the worst thing ive heard, but who really wants to hear that when they could listen to born in the usa? easy call, think about it). the worst ever comes from a member of arguably the most famous and influential band of all time. i am not a fan of this band but i respect their influence on the evloution of music. the respect, however, does not include this song. really, paul? that is shit! youre a gd beatle! what is up with that music? you could have done so much better. i know it was 1979, so the synthesizer may have seemed slightly ahead of its time, but it sounds like it should have been in a video game (clearly, nintendo decided it wasnt good enough for super mario bros). why is it that singers who consistenly give us quality songs for their entire careers think its acceptable to produce absolute garbage when it comes to christmas music? and why is it that everyone but me chooses to accept these half-ass efforts? (i take that back. half-ass is far too much credit.) how can so many people not see through this? these songs are crap, and no one cares. you might be asking yourself, is this a-hole the biggest grinch in the world? of course not, but coincidentally, one of only four christmas songs that i like is all about that awesome little green jerk. in no particular order, here are the only christmas songs that i ever want to hear.
-youre a mean one, mr grinch
-i wont be home for christmas
-fairytale of new york
-happy holidays, you bastard
(also, i can occasionally tolerate songs by mariah carey and taylor swift.)
ok, deep breath. now that im fully hydrated with haterade, i think its time to run off some frustration. but if i hear silent night coming from an open car window, there might be a rock flying back through that same open window.
13 miles. 1:32. no terrible music coming from passing cars. no broken windows.